Session Three
The Difference Between Men and Women
BIBLE REFERENCES FOR SESSION THREE: I PETER 3:1-7 EPHESIANS 5:22-33 SONG OF SOLOMON
SUMMARY: Session Three focuses on the nature of the two genders:
A man will never feel loved if he does not feel respected; it is the oxygen he breathes! Is a man always respectable in all areas of his life? Of course not, and no one can pretend to admire that which is in reality a weakness. But a wife who loves her husband can always find parts of his life that can be respected, and even her belief in him will be a key part of his becoming what he would like to be. People tend to live up or down to what we think of them. (It does need to be noted that giving a husband respect is not the same as cowering under every wish or want he might have. Real respect will sometimes come in the form of confrontation.)
It is an old phrase, but if a wife does not feel precious to her husband, she will struggle with feeling loved. Is a woman always easy to love? Of course not. She, too, has flaws, and those flaws cannot be "valued." But, as stated in the previous paragraph on men and boys, there are still parts of her life her husband can greatly treasure. And his valuing her will be a key part in helping her become what she would like to be.
Let a man love his wife and let a wife respect her husband.
EPHESIANS 5:33 (NIV)
Session Three
The Difference Between Men and Women
THOUGHT AND DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
Session Three
1.
Were there any "Wow, that really makes sense to me!" moments?
2.
In general, have you seen men or boys who:
- Seemed to live in an environment where "admiration" and "appreciation" were freely lavished on them? What did you notice?
- Seemed to live in a more critical environment one where high criticism was given, or perhaps "nothing" was given? What did you notice?
If you are a male, (which kind of home did you grow up in?) How much difference was there between the parents? Grandparents?
3.
Have you seen women or girls who:
- Seemed to live in an environment where "great worth" and "precious to me" were freely lavished on them? What did you notice?
- Seemed to live in an environment where high criticism was given, or perhaps "nothing" was given? What did you notice?
If you are a female, (which kind of home did you grow up in?) How much difference was there between the parents? Grandparents?
4.
Discipline can be a part of real love and respect, or it can be done in such a way that it is destructive and demeaning. When you were growing up did discipline reinforce how much your parents loved and valued you, or did it reinforce that you were "worthless," a "disappointment," etc.?
- How do you think that impacts how you receive criticism or correction now?
- How do you think that impacts how you give criticism or correction now?
5. Is it possible to communicate worth, value, and respect to someone who is disappointing you on important things? How do you do it? (Session Four will deal with this topic.)
6.
If you are a man, do you believe your wife feels deeply valued by you?
- If not, what stands in the way of your living this out?
- Are there past incidents where genuine apologies and forgiveness are needed?
7.
If you are a woman, do you believe your husband feels highly respected and appreciated in your eyes?
- If not, what stands in the way?
- Are there past incidents where genuine apologies and forgiveness are needed?
8.
While the answer to this question is not for group discussion, pre-marital sex does deeply impact the most basic beliefs we carry about one another.
- Do you see how a wife can feel used and devalued by the memory of pre-marital sex?
- Do you see how a husband can feel as if he has lost her (and his own) respect by the memory of this act?
- Are there genuine apologies to be made, and is there forgiveness that needs to be given in your relationship?